"The 'Clean Up' After the Celebration"

This particular title is not one I thought of. Actually in sharing my most recent update with a dear friend, Linda, she made the statement, "the 'clean up' after the celebration" and I really liked it. So I asked her if I could us it for the title to this post. If you are just following this blog or have been following it; the last 7 months have been full of various events in my life. Although there's not a particular scripture that goes with this topic I'm going to refer to one that I have used and depended on a lot since May 9th of this year.

Psalms 56:3-4  
What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me."

Since my last post I've received news that, I'm cancer free! The Lord is receiving all the praise for this. I trusted in the Lord to lead us to the right doctors and for the Lord to give them wisdom in how to treat the cancer. Now in the worlds eyes, the clinical trial I did was what cured me, which yes without that I could very well not be cancer free. However as I look back over the last almost 7 months God has moved in so many ways and he allowed me to be cured.  

I was afraid, but I trusted in Him and depended on Him. I had days where I let fear take hold, but as my pastors wife so graciously would remind me, I didn't stay there. I allowed the Lord to use me. I could have given up completely but we/I didn't. I continued taking piano lessons, I stayed in the singing group at church, on the days I could I went soul winning or visiting with either ladies in our church or with my husband. Most importantly and harder done than said, I turned it over to the Lord. I decided at the beginning that God would get the praise and glory for all that happened. I remember not to many weeks into the treatments, I told the Lord, You're going to have to take charge! I can't do this on my own, I need you Lord in order to get through! He did just that, the Lord took charge and well, here I am today. 

So now I'm sure you're wondering what does the clean up after the celebration have to do with this. Well, on Monday 11/27 I met with 6 different doctors and nurses to learn what the stage of my journey would take. Some of this you may not understand but trust me, it's good :) After having my surgery I was called a week later by my surgeon letting me know my pathology reports were back and I am Cancer Free!!! 

Psalms 57: 7-11 "My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise. Awake up, my glory, awake, psaltery and harp; I myself will awake early. I will praise thee, O LORD, among thy people; I will sing unto thee among the nations. For thy mercy is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds. Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: let thy glory be above all the earth." 

I have written in the margin of my Bible next to these verses is, "God CAN and WILL see through this "bump" in the road! I just need to stay focused on Him!"  I believe that as I approach my "clean up" it's because I did my best to keep my heart fixed on God, continued to sing his praises. I would awake and go to church on Sunday, I would awake and read the Bible and listen to godly music. As I was able to go out, I'd tell others of Christ and what he's done not only for me but the world. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."

So my "clean up" is going through a years worth of treatments, radiation and care. Though it sounds awful it is to care for what I HAD! The IDC (Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma), HER2+ is not anything to play with. There is different levels of chemo and I'm very thankful that I'll not need the AC of Chemo. I'll also have a lower strength of radiation. 

The first part of everything will be 12 weeks. Then within a few weeks of that I'll have 6 weeks of radiation. As I approach each stage I'll give a little more about it. I did mention this would be a total of a year. This is because I'll have one part of the chemo that will go longer. I'm still trying to get it all figured out as far as the names of things. I'm by no means a doctor and most of these names are literally Greek to me. heehee So, the Clean up after the celebration is simply I was given wonderful news that I'm cancer free! Then a week later I'm told what I have to still go through even after such wonderful news. God is good and I REALLY can't complain at all. Yes, I'm sure I'll still have days, maybe weeks where I feel lousy but it's for the best.(at least I can say that right now :) ) 

I want to say I'm still doing my best to allow this to be a platform, a help, a possible encouragement for another. As I learned just the other day, another lady has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Cancer has no limits or favorites, it simply is a disease that attacks and it can be anyone of any age, race, size it matters not. However how you approach the first word of having it can determine so much. Some people will conquer it while others loss the battle. My biggest desire is to see no one with it, but if you have to go through it, Please don't try to go it alone! God wants and is ready, and willing to take your hand and guide you. He'll even carry you through at times. I love the saying, the teacher is quiet during the test. That is when you may think God's not there, he's just being quiet and carrying you. Be still and know God! So, even though clean up may not be easy I'm ready to start and get this year long clean up done! 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding". Proverbs 3:5 

Taking a Roller Coaster ride of emotions.....

Good Evening everyone I'm not sure exactly at this moment what I'll title this post because I have so much going through my mind, heart, so many emotions.... This week has been a week of tears, lose, Heavens gain, joy, wondering if I made a right decision. Remember Dr. Hyles preaching not to make a decision when your decision maker is broken. There's been physical pain, emotional pain, thankfulness and wondering why one must go so soon. These have all been my thoughts and emotions since last Monday morning on our way to Boston for my mastectomy.

This past Monday I had my first major surgery and yes I was nervous. Through prayer, and the prayers of many I am doing well. The scheduled two hour surgery only took 45 minutes which is a huge blessings! This is a blessing in that what they thought would be a lot of cancer to still remove was a lot less. I spent the night in the hospital and was able to come home on Tuesday. I now have an in home nurse who come 3 times a week for a few weeks.
The scars that will remain behind from having a mastectomy will always be there and as of yet, I'm completely ready for this part of life, but I can say, "God is good and he doesn't allow anything in our lives that we can't handle." So, after my surgery I did have the wonderful privilege to come home and have my momma here for a few more days. She and my daddy were here the week before and thank the Lord for friends who made it possible for her to stay an extra week so would be here after my surgery. Though the Lord has allowed me to see victories through my cancer Heaven has gained a very special Man of God, our Pastor, Rick Walters. He lost his battle to cancer and is now walking streets of gold and sitting at Jesus feet. His family and our church has lost a great man but Heavens gained. a true man of God.

As I mentioned this week has been a whole realm of emotions. Scars that I'll learn to live with, pain that will go away, decisions that weren't easy to make for my husband and I. Ladies, when you go through anything and if you are married, DO NOT exclude your husband! You and your spouse are ONE! I could never have made the decisions that we've made the last few months without the love and support of my spouse, my love, my husband! I couldn't have gone through any of this without the Lord! He'll never leave me nor forsake me!

Typing this is a bit painful as my lymph nodes were cut in my left arm due to the cancer. I am gaining back full use of my arm. god has given me grace, peace and strength to get through each day. so one handed typing isn't going to bad. smile

As you go through a trial, lose, or anything who do you depend on?
Psalms 40:2 "He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings."
I use this verse a lot but there's so much truth in it. "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understand. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Proverbs 3:9 "Honour the LORD with thy substance...."

Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say Rejoice!

Without Christ, the Bible, Prayer, Church, family, friends we/I couldn't get through this week and weeks to come. My desire is if you don't know Jesus as your Saviour that you would accept him. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world (put your name here) that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever (you) believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life." Friend how many people that would give up their only child for the world, for you or anyone? The only one I know is our Lord! That just shows how much he loves you and wants you to be with him. How much he wants to be in your life, in your decisions, in your hard times, in your trials. If you have never asked Jesus to save you, please take the time to simply ask for his forgiveness and to come into your heart. I'd love to hear from you if you do this! If you need help feel free to contact me.

Yes, my heart is breaking for my Pastors family. Yes, I miss my Pastor. Yes, I have and am in pain at various points of my day and night. Yes, I have difficult decisions to make BUT I have my wonderful Lord to depend on and ONLY he can Make Today Amazing!!!