Psalms 56:3-4
What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me."
Since my last post I've received news that, I'm cancer free! The Lord is receiving all the praise for this. I trusted in the Lord to lead us to the right doctors and for the Lord to give them wisdom in how to treat the cancer. Now in the worlds eyes, the clinical trial I did was what cured me, which yes without that I could very well not be cancer free. However as I look back over the last almost 7 months God has moved in so many ways and he allowed me to be cured.
I was afraid, but I trusted in Him and depended on Him. I had days where I let fear take hold, but as my pastors wife so graciously would remind me, I didn't stay there. I allowed the Lord to use me. I could have given up completely but we/I didn't. I continued taking piano lessons, I stayed in the singing group at church, on the days I could I went soul winning or visiting with either ladies in our church or with my husband. Most importantly and harder done than said, I turned it over to the Lord. I decided at the beginning that God would get the praise and glory for all that happened. I remember not to many weeks into the treatments, I told the Lord, You're going to have to take charge! I can't do this on my own, I need you Lord in order to get through! He did just that, the Lord took charge and well, here I am today.
So now I'm sure you're wondering what does the clean up after the celebration have to do with this. Well, on Monday 11/27 I met with 6 different doctors and nurses to learn what the stage of my journey would take. Some of this you may not understand but trust me, it's good :) After having my surgery I was called a week later by my surgeon letting me know my pathology reports were back and I am Cancer Free!!!
Psalms 57: 7-11 "My heart is fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise. Awake up, my glory, awake, psaltery and harp; I myself will awake early. I will praise thee, O LORD, among thy people; I will sing unto thee among the nations. For thy mercy is great unto the heavens, and thy truth unto the clouds. Be thou exalted, O God, above the heavens: let thy glory be above all the earth."
I have written in the margin of my Bible next to these verses is, "God CAN and WILL see through this "bump" in the road! I just need to stay focused on Him!" I believe that as I approach my "clean up" it's because I did my best to keep my heart fixed on God, continued to sing his praises. I would awake and go to church on Sunday, I would awake and read the Bible and listen to godly music. As I was able to go out, I'd tell others of Christ and what he's done not only for me but the world. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life."
So my "clean up" is going through a years worth of treatments, radiation and care. Though it sounds awful it is to care for what I HAD! The IDC (Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma), HER2+ is not anything to play with. There is different levels of chemo and I'm very thankful that I'll not need the AC of Chemo. I'll also have a lower strength of radiation.
The first part of everything will be 12 weeks. Then within a few weeks of that I'll have 6 weeks of radiation. As I approach each stage I'll give a little more about it. I did mention this would be a total of a year. This is because I'll have one part of the chemo that will go longer. I'm still trying to get it all figured out as far as the names of things. I'm by no means a doctor and most of these names are literally Greek to me. heehee So, the Clean up after the celebration is simply I was given wonderful news that I'm cancer free! Then a week later I'm told what I have to still go through even after such wonderful news. God is good and I REALLY can't complain at all. Yes, I'm sure I'll still have days, maybe weeks where I feel lousy but it's for the best.(at least I can say that right now :) )
I want to say I'm still doing my best to allow this to be a platform, a help, a possible encouragement for another. As I learned just the other day, another lady has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Cancer has no limits or favorites, it simply is a disease that attacks and it can be anyone of any age, race, size it matters not. However how you approach the first word of having it can determine so much. Some people will conquer it while others loss the battle. My biggest desire is to see no one with it, but if you have to go through it, Please don't try to go it alone! God wants and is ready, and willing to take your hand and guide you. He'll even carry you through at times. I love the saying, the teacher is quiet during the test. That is when you may think God's not there, he's just being quiet and carrying you. Be still and know God! So, even though clean up may not be easy I'm ready to start and get this year long clean up done!
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding". Proverbs 3:5
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