Another Reality Check

Back in June I had written about having a Reality Check.... Well, I've kind of reached that stage again where there's another reality check. On this upcoming Monday I'll go through the various test that was done back in May and June. Only they'll pretty much ALL be in one day. *Bright side, I don't have to study for them Ha Ha!

So Monday will be about "normal" then we'll get to see some of Boston other than Dana Farber :) Tuesday though is going to be a little more intense. I'm not just meeting with doctors but with the surgeon. Now, with God all things are possible and they very well could say, NO surgery needed. However, from my understand the type of cancer I have that's the majority of the cure is having the surgery.

The last few post I've done, I've looked at different things Mrs. Marlene Evans wrote in two of her books. I'm so thankful for my Pastors wife who put out a request to get me these books and for the ladies who have allowed me to borrow or have them. I'm also so very grateful for my Pastor who prays for cares about the members of the church.

So, even though I'm NOT looking forward to any type of surgery I'm depending on the Lord to give peace, comfort and understanding as we meet with the doctors on Tuesday. So as I refer to another chapter in Mrs. Evans book "There's life after Cancer",  "Have you ever felt as if no one, not even God, understood you and that you were cut off from the world? Affliction and trouble can overwhelm you. Others do feel that way even today. You are not alone." Psalms 102:7 "I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house top." 

The greatest thing is, that not even the sparrow goes unwatched by God? As his child, I am watched over and cared for more than ever. These long days of pain every time I stand or walk through the house, the Lord knows. When my hands hurt to the point I don't want to practice piano, the Lord knows!!! As I look at the last week I may have had 4 rough days, but today I was able to do a little more and enjoy it.

Romans 8:35-39 "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For they sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We are more conquerors! That's exactly what I am! I won't give up and no matter what the Lord brings my way, I have the word of God to lean on, to encourage and teach!!

So by having the Bible, reading it, and letting the Holy Spirit speak to you through God's Word how can one go wrong. Making decisions with God on your side even if you don't understand the why, Remember Proverbs 3: 5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

So following these tips in Mrs. Evans book:
1. Keep your Bible with you at all times!
2. Let the Bible direct you to soul winning!
3. Let the Bible direct you to church!
4. Let the Bible lead you to prayer! "Pray without ceasing."

As the journey of cancer has taken me down many roads, through many things I never thought I'd have to go through, One thing I am so thankful for this Journey has brought me and my family closer to God!

So as you make your day amazing by doing various things make sure that you never feel your alone because God is always there, you can always read your Bible and Pray.  Make today Amazing just trusting in the Lord and remembering that he'll never leave you.

The Stop light of sickness

Funny thought to me using a stop light but once again I was reading one of Mrs. Marlene Evans book on Cancer I came across this. The title of the chapter in her book "There's Life After Cancer" is "Talking Your Sickness" in this chapter she used the stop light as her points. I will be using some of what she shared as I do this post. (bold and italic will be from her book exact) I want to say I've watched many people deal with things in their lives and I so admire the ones who didn't let what they were dealing with in their lives define them. I think of Mrs. Evans - she didn't let cancer define her but rather she defined it. There's Mrs. Carol Frye Tudor - her brother was very sick, He nor his sister allowed his sickness to define him. There's my dear friend, Mrs. Kelly Johnson she didn't allow cancer to define her. My prayer and goal is that as I go through life now and after cancer that I don't let any part of it define me, but rather that I use it for good. Yes, it's part of my life but it doesn't need to run or ruin my life.

So stop light sickness? HUM??
In Mrs. Evans book she says,  "Use the red light about the people with whom you share the details of your aches and pains." What does she mean by this? After reading her statement on this, we don't need to tell every little ache and pain and the exact location of that pain to everyone. If you are asked specifically and it's someone you confide in, it's ok. However, don't go around telling every detail of your pains. There are some people you just don't ask how they are doing because you'll get word for word and detail for detail of their life. You don't have to be rude about it, there are times I'll be asked, "How are you today?" I recall on service I was asked this. I replied to one of the ladies at church with "I'm doing ok". She immediately says back, Now tell me the truth! Of course without great detail I told her a little about my day and how I was doing. Use a red light when talking sickness, know when to hush, know when to give a simple answer and when to give more detail.

The yellow light: "Use the yellow light as far as talking too much about pain, even with your "disease buddies."  Use caution!! You can get depressed constantly discussing your sickness. Have "normal" conversations with family, friends, disease buddies be an encourager, uplifting others. Share scripture and pray together.

"Use the green light if talking about the particulars of your sickness helps you, ask God to help you find some people who have a similar need." I have done this very thing! It has helped having specific people I can go to, call, or even write and talk with them. Sometimes knowing someone else understands is the greatest help next to prayer and depending on our Lord for strength and support.

Friend, if you have a friend or loved one who has an illness don't always talk about that when you're with them. Let them live and enjoy life. As I've read these books and reviewed materials on HER2+ and on the IDC I've learned but I've not dwelt on it. I have missionary friends I call, my Pastors wife, and others that I know when I need to talk with them about my health.

As you, I have a children to raise, a husband to be the best I can be for, a house that I want to look nice and clean. Can I do it all by myself? Some days no! But I rejoice in the Lord on the days I can cook a meal for my husband and boys. I rejoice in the Lord on the days I can go up and down the stairs to do laundry. I thankful for the days I can sit and enjoy a meal with my family and not get sick. Look for the things in your life that will make your day amazing and then turn around do it and rejoice in the Lord that he's given you the strength to do those things.

Preparing to go places, Specifically Church

Over the past 5 months our lives have changed! Exactly 5 months ago October 12th, I was told, you have breast cancer. I'll not go through all of the details. Rather I have something else to share with you. I believe in a post last month I talked about things I have to do differently now. Well,  During the month of May I pretty much did my usual when going some place. Then, I learned, as time has gone on; that some days it takes a lot more to go some place than it does other days. As I've been reading Mrs. Marlene Evans book "Cancer My Enemy My Friend" I have not only learned a lot but I've been able to apply scripture to so many areas of my life. If you've not had someone, or you haven't had an illness that is very wearing on your body you may not understand. So may I ask, as you read this that you for just a few minutes put yourself in my shoes.

In Mrs. Evans book she talks about How to Save Yourself for Church. I never really thought about it other than I knew on Saturday to stay home as much as I can. On Wednesday I go no place until Church time. But after reading this chapter in her book I have a new outlook on How to save myself for things such as piano, soul winning and most importantly church.

See on my chemo week (which I just finished round one) I had decided I won't do anything that week. That wasn't good for me. Now I do have to listen to my body and if it's saying NO I have to listen. Otherwise I'm down for more time than I like. So, how can I save myself for things that are important to me? With the assistance of a very dear lady who's now in Heaven I'm going to share with you how those of us who suffer from chronic pain, cancer, or any illness, can live life as close to normal as possible.

1. Prepare for the day you are wanting to go out. Like for me Thursday is when I generally have piano and ladies soul winning. I can prepare by a morning nap. By having everything ready to leave first thing in the morning. Then at 1 when I need to leave I'm rested and can keep my schedule as it was set.  Maybe it's planning for church. Rather than waiting until Sunday morning to decide what I'm going to wear. (which honestly is my preference :) ) Choose your clothes the night before. I have a Sunday bag have it packed the night before. Now I know some of my very organized friends probably already do this and I maybe talking to some of you LOL.

2. On the day that you're wanting to go out Make Sure you take a Nap! On Sunday take an afternoon nap if needed to be in church Sunday night. Now there will be(and for me this has been) that even with the nap I still couldn't make it. You know your limitations and what you can and can't do.

3. Plan your food and medicines! I did this just last night. I know that sometimes after I eat I get sick within 30 minutes sometimes longer. So I planned for it not knowing what I might be eating at the Secret Pal night potluck. I'm very thankful that I did too.

4. Learn to say, "NO" not rudely but just simply that some activities you will need to change. Now if you know me I say Yes a lot faster than I say No. I love to help, serve and be a blessing. However since May I'm learning that can't always happen.

5. Pay attention to the Preaching. Put aside what is bothering you, or that you left dishes in the sink. Let the Holy Spirit speak to you through the sermon. It may be the very thing you need to get through you next infusion, your next appointment or just to get through the next week.

6. Sing, give your tithes and offerings, pray, be a part of the service, that you are able to be in that day! I can't count the number of times I went into church determined to enjoy being with my church family and to get something out of the sermon. Those were and are the best services I'm in. Because as hard as it is, I put aside what Paula was thinking on or what Paula is going through and focused on my church family and the service.

7. During this time you are down, become the best prayer warrior you can be! Pray for your Pastor, your assistant Pastor, for the deacons, for the church family!

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as you see the day approaching."  Hebrews 10:24 & 25

Friends as you read this, yes parts of each point are from Mrs. Evans book, but think about what so many people go through JUST TO GO TO CHURCH. I asked you to put yourself in my shoes as you read this. I have constant pain in my feet and some in hands from neuropathy. I can't let that stop me from ever serving God. Just recently I told the Lord pain or not I am going to continuing furthering my knowledge in music. I LOVE playing the piano, learning more about it. I'm not a professional by no means but I LOVE IT! What are you going through that you are allowing to rule you rather than you rule it?

When I was 12 years old, I told the Lord while in Mexico on a missions trip that I would serve him wherever and with whomever the Lord wanted me to be. I met in 1990 the Love of my life! In 1991 we were married. I have stood by my husband through thick and thin, now is sickness and health. We have had some very rough times but neither of us ran the other direction rather we clung to God and each other. Today, we live in the beautiful state of Maine, serving our Lord at the greatest church ever, Victory Baptist Church, with the Greatest Pastor Rick Walter. Our church is having a rough time right now, but you'll not see us run, or our Pastor run! Why? no matter the trial God is with us and he will carry us through what he brought us to.

So friend, Serve God, Healthy, chronic pain, illness that no one sees..... Let me say here, I do understand there are some who can't do all I've talked about. I also know, that no matter where you are YOU CAN PRAY!

So, make Today Amazing how? By preparing and planning for where you want, should go!

"...Making a Difference."

Jude 22 "And of some having compassion, making a difference."

I'm not talking about having a compassion on me, but rather me having compassion on others. Yes, I'm going through a trial of cancer but that doesn't mean I stop having compassion and trying to make a difference in another persons life.

In my last post I mentioned a lady, Mrs. Betty who had gone on to heaven. She had compassion for others and she made a difference. She made a difference in my daughters life, in my moms life. in my life and in countless others lives. I met Mrs. Betty in April of last year when I went to NC for the baby shower of our first grandbaby. She was a greeter at the door of Twin Rivers Baptist Church with her husband. Mrs. Betty always had a smile, and friendly hello. To personally talk to her and see her was just a few times. However when she found out that her friend, my mom, daughter had breast cancer it wasn't long after that I received a card from her. She was sweet, encouraging, and uplifting in what she said. I never once asked her for anything, but I would send a thank you occasionally for praying for me. Then one day I received a blanket and she had put on it Proverbs 3:5-6 and Love, Mrs. Betty. There was other gestures of compassion that she showed as well. Although her own cancer had returned and although she had gotten sick, she continued to send me a card at least twice a month sometimes more. After her passing I was thinking how I could make a difference for someone!

So I'm going to give a few ideas that you, whether healthy or fighting an illness can do:

1. Write a letter ALL positive, uplifting, and encouraging. Don't lay your burdens on them yes we all have burdens but this is about them NOT you.
2. If you can a small gift occasionally.
3. Make it someone close or far away. The Lady I've chosen to try and make a difference in her life lives in another state.
4. Make a difference during your trial by witnessing to others and telling them of Christ. This will be the best and most crucial one of all. Use your trial, your time in the valley as a platform to help build the bridge and be a light for others.

These are just a few things that you can do having compassion and making a difference in another persons life. It only takes a few minutes of your time to make another filled loved and cared for.

Make Today Amazing how? Be the ONE to make a difference.

Love Lifted Me

Psalms 28:7 "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped: therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; and with my song will I praise him.

The above verse was the verse my Pastors wife shared earlier today. This verse has been such an encouragement today. As I share my day you'll understand why I have the title I  have and the verse I'm using tonight.

So going back to this morning, I got up and prepared for my day and we'll for the first time in awhile felt I could do a little more before having to relax or even nap.  A dear couple from our church, Bro. Danny and Mrs. Sandy came to visit. While they were here the first not so good news came in. Our Pastor, Rick Walter, was in the ER in the worst pain he's been in since being diagnosed with cancer. We then learned he would be admitted. As I read the verse I was reminded again God is his strength! God's my strength and loves us all.

Then just a short time after they had gone, my husband was on his way to work, he calls me. I learn that a friend who had cancer and was battling pneumonia had gone to heaven this morning.  It was at first hard because she had loved, encouraged, supported, and much more after Mrs. Betty learned I had cancer. She had her own health issues but through love I was lifted up in prayer by a very wonderful lady.

Shortly after I found out about her passing, I recieved a call from another dear friend who also has had cancer, Mrs. Kelly. Why did she call, to encourage me, to let me know she understood and that she was praying. Again, the Verse was brought to mind, the Lord was helping me via friends.

After talking to Kelly, I knew I needed to do something,  not just sit and fret. I tackled a fairly easy project, practiced piano, prayed for many.

Then to end my day, our assistant Pastors wife came over. She brought supper, we had a time of fellowship, had a piano lesson and enjoyed a little more fellowship. When she headed out I was refreshed by how my day had been.

I have shared this with you because love lifted me through friends. God encouraged me through friends. He helped me get through what could have been a bad Day, by friends. However this isn't just friends, these are friends who have heartaches, some times harder than what I'm going through. Some just as concerned for others as I am. See friends, no matter what your heartache or struggle, God can use you and his scripture to uplift, encourage and help others. My goal is to do the same as Jennie, Sandy, Kelly and Marion did today. Not just say I'll help, pray, etc But actually do it.

If none of the ladies had come, messaged or done anything I'd still have the Lord doing all this through his word. I'm thankful for those who go the extra mile.
I could list several others who have texted, called or messaged. Who are you encouraging in the Lord Today?

I'm not perfect, I hurt, I worry, just as the next person. However I trust in, lean on, depend on, love and serve the one whos love lifts me!

So make today Amazing by doing for another!

The Potter knows the Clay

https://youtube/nSY9mM2ARL0   "The Potter knows the Clay"

Before I get to my topic just a little about us as a family and keeping our family in a routine and staying focused. Happy Fall! Happy Schooling! 🙄 Do everything decently and in order. That is exactly what we're trying to do. This is my youngest sons senior year and it's not exactly as I had planned it. Thankfully though my Lord knows what I wanted to do and what I can do. I'm also very thankful for a son, understands these changes. My wonderful husband is so amazing and he's my rock!!! Working long hours, going to my treatments with me, even cooking our noon meal most days yet always with a smile. I love him dearly!!

Hopefully you listened to the song at the beginning of this blog entry. The Potter, Jesus Christ, knows the Clay, you and me. We each face our own trial/fire. Though it takes time and prayers to know sometimes why you're going through the fire, don't fight the the Potter.

Thus far I believe there's been several purposes of my cancer.
1. To get closer to the Lord
2. To bring my family closer
3. To be a better soul winner
4. To help prepare one for facing the dreaded cancer
What else is there? I don't know, but as the pain grows in my feet from the neuropathy, I have two choices: a) fight the Potter and not let him show me what I'm to learn or b) learn, grow and let the Potter form the clay.
As I face the unknown in areas upcoming God is my Potter and he knows what I can handle.

What's your trial/fire? Don't fight the Potter but rather endure the pain and learn from it.

Our next appointment is actually tomorrow. First appointment at 11:00. This is my 5th appointment. Just one more treatment on this round of chemo, then I get a little break from chemo 😃

Friend if you don't know the Potter let me introduce you to Him.
He's my Saviour, he died on the cross not just for me but for you as well. Jesus did this because he loves us!
John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."
We're all sinners but God has forgiven us of our sins. All you need to do is ask Jesus to forgive you come into your heart! He wants to give you a home in heaven! More importantly Jesus wants to be the center of Your life!

So why not make your day amazing by accepting the fire you're in and that "The Potter knows the Clay!"

Learning more on my journey

Good evening friends, as each week passes I learn a little more of what life with cancer, life having chemo is like. It's not all fun an games that's for sure. To some because I'm on a trial with one of the top cancer centers in the US, they look at me as though all is great. I've been asked why don't you look sick? Well not all illnesses, diseases, health issues are visible.

Here's some of what I've learned over the past 9 weeks (this is my treatment range thus far).
1. I'm tired when most are ready to hit their day running.
2. I might sleep eight hrs be up for two and sleep another hour. Do I want to do this? No. It's something I'm having to adjust to.
3. I have pains at times others don't understand. I recently found out neuropathy is now a part of my life. If you don't know what this is, it affects your hands and feet. For me it's both, where another it might be only there hands.
I haven't let this stop me. Today for example it was frustrating to practice piano because my fingers felt tingly an a little numb at times. What did I do? I just kept going. Prayed for strength to get my practice time in and continued. Jeremiah 33:3 "Call unto me, and I will answer thee...."
4. Planning my day according to how I feel. Another blog was shared with me and the lady who has the blog had an entry on the Spoon Theory. Not the exact title but she used spoons to explain her energy level to a friend. That has helped our family in so many ways.
5. Having, learning to say, "no". This is really hard for me. Especially when I'm having a good day (s). This isn't just to others but to myself. My husband has told me many times, "know yourself". Well, I do, or so I thought. I'm learning more and more to "know" myself.

These are just a few things to help you, that may not understand, to understand more about those who suffer from an invisible illness.

I make each day amazing as I go though in odd ways, or silly ways, sometimes in important ways. I don't dwell on me. God gives me the strength I need from day to day. Trust in the Lord, lean on his word, grow in His word, pray without ceasing.

Yes I have my down days but I don't stay there. God's to good and he gave me an amazing day to make more Amazing! This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Friend call unto the Lord! Trust in the Lord!
Make Today Amazing!